Happy Tuesday my loves,

As you know, I always want these musings to provide you with useful ideas to help you face life with greater joy and ease.

With the holidays coming up, the other week I was asked to create a proposal for a talk on keeping well during the holiday season. The more I thought about how people struggle around this time of year, and how my work can help, the more it became clear that we have to talk about boundaries this month.

If you follow a lot of personal development content, you might have seen the concept of “boundaries” trending everywhere for a while, but we’d all do well to take boundaries more seriously than a trend.

Ok, first - what even are boundaries?

I really love how Mark Groves describes boundaries as “us drawing a circle around who we are.” He says, “They preserve our wholeness, protect our values and standards, and what’s important to us. They curate behaviour and say this is ok and this is not. They teach people how to love us.”

What does it look like to uphold a boundary?

• 💸 Sticking to your budget even though there are gifts to buy and Christmas drinks to attend = enforcing a boundary

• 🥂 Capping your drinks for the week even though there are social events every night is enforcing a boundary

• 👋🏼 Cancelling plans when you're exhausted even though you "feel like you should go" is enforcing a boundary.

• 🏃🏽‍♀️ Continuing to meditate/exercise/self care in December even though it’s cold, dark and you are extra busy is… yes, enforcing a boundary

• 🚧 Speaking your needs and creating space with people who are triggering even though it’s uncomfortable is… also, enforcing a boundary!

We all have boundaries that we already enforce easily and habitually. You probably don’t think about those much.

It’s the ones that aren’t quite so cemented that can be difficult to uphold. With these boundaries, we’re so used to our old behaviour that we feel the pressure to let them slide. It's normal for this to feel hard at first. Just know that on the other side of this tricky adjustment period is a more confident, emotionally strong version of you.

I’m not here to tell you which boundaries to uphold. That's for you to choose. You don’t have to have any boundaries that you don’t want to. Create boundaries that will serve you and your happiest, highest self.

So what boundaries do you need to set this month?

Let me know in the comments below and make sure you’re receiving my newsletter, where this month I'll be sharing advice about how to start setting boundaries masterfully.