When my client came to me she was in a self-confessed “black hole”, on constant “battery saving mode”.

An ambitious and successful lawyer, she loved her job. But after a personal tragedy two years ago, she had been coping by throwing herself into work, with no boundaries and taking calls in the middle of the night. To avoid conflict, she found herself acting submissive around colleagues and making herself smaller.

Outside of work, she lacked energy to dedicate to her hobbies, and she was struggling to develop deep romantic relationships.

And she didn’t want to continue this way.

Her old pattern in relationships had been to people please, ignore her needs & mould herself into what she thought the other person wanted. And she attracted people who did the same. Neither was truly themselves and she would be surprised & hurt when her partner would suddenly leave.

So when a new person came into the picture, she knew she wanted a fulfilling partnership & he had potential but she was

- Afraid of rejection and of being abandoned

- Afraid of getting hurt

- Afraid to end up alone

- Afraid of being seen as “too much”

- Afraid that he was too good to be true & would turn out like the last one

When she first brought him up in our sessions, she was even afraid to say his name to me.

Together we worked on learning to listen, feel and accept her emotions, recognise her needs & express them.

Through our work she was able to recognise that her old patterns were trying so hard to protect herself from getting hurt but was simultaneously blocking her potential happiness.

She came to realise what she truly wanted from the relationship. She asked for the commitment she wanted and even asked him to join her on a once-in-a-lifetime trip!

She’s started talking about her emotions and anxiety with her partner, friends and mum, feeling like a “weight has lifted”.

Since she’s stopped suppressing her emotions and started voicing herself, she’s no longer getting so defensive, annoyed and frustrated in conflict with others.

She told me, "Unloading all of that baggage I was carrying emotionally has really improved my energy levels and I feel physically lighter”

Are you also ready to find the relationship of your dreams?

Book in a free discovery call with me to find out more about how I can support you to do it through coaching!